Dealing With Offences

Offence as stated in our earlier article “Don’t Take Offence” is simply a cause or occasion of stumbling or sin, any action or words spoken against your person that could cause you to be displeased or angry. We saw why and how we can live offence free. However, despite our best efforts, sometimes the offence stick, you just know you are offended and justifiably so. The sight of the person and even the thought of the person or the situation gets you angry and you know you must deal with it.

We will be looking at ways of dealing with offences, one or all of the steps below might be what you need to do to be rid of that anger. However, the base line is a readiness and willingness to forgive. First, be sincere with yourself that you are offended and then forgive the offender. Your forgiveness is not based on the weight of the offence or the repentance of the offender; rather it is based on the weight of God’s forgiveness to you. A constant remembrance of how much God forgave us is the reason we forgive others. Col 3:13 “You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others”.

Having forgiven from your heart, pray for the person. Oh, not the prayer of vengeance, fire and brimstone rather a prayer of blessing and increase. Jesus speaking in Luke 6:28 says “Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” Take time out to pray for the person and for yourself for obeying God despite your feelings. Also, consistently confess to yourself that you live free of offence and that you walk in love towards the offender.

Believe the best of the offender, Make excuses for the person. It is just possible that the person did not mean to hurt you or was under enormous pressure. It could also be that the person would have acted differently if he/she had known you more or known your intents. Whatever it is, let your heart rest on the fact that with better understanding things would have been different. 

Do something good to your offender. Buy a gift, render a service, just go out of your way and break the cycle of wrong. Rom 12:21 “Don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good”.

Finally, seek clarification with the person after you have dealt with the offense to the end that you might be reconciled. This should be done only if it is necessary and after you have dealt with the offence. Doing it before the offence is gone will more often than not bring more anger and hurt. The peace of God be with you as you live free of offence in Jesus name.