Don’t Take Offence

In our last article, we saw how the Syrophoenician woman got the healing of her daughter along with a commendation from Christ because she refused to be offended and persisted till the end. We will in this piece look more closely at offence and how to correctly relate with it.

Offence is simply a cause or occasion of stumbling or sin, any action or words spoken against your person that could cause you to be displeased or angry. Hardly will a day go by that you will not have a reason to be offended. As long as we are in this world, there will always be a cause for displeasure, a reason to be angry. But the choice to be angry or offended is yours and we will dwell more on this later, first what are the consequences of getting offended.

As can be seen in Matt 15:22-30 (The Syrophoenician woman’s story), taking offence can deny you of your progress or desired goal. It distracts you and whittles away the energy needed for success. You spend time and resources dwelling and reacting to an offence thereby draining the present of the same resources. One of the greatest tool the enemy is using in the church today is offences, you see brethren refusing to work with each other because of years-old grudges.

Taking offences could also have ramifications far beyond the immediate action. You will be surprised how many persons are in prison today because of actions done in a fit of anger, they just had to react to a slight. A momentary loss of control and years of consequences. There is no better example than those of Simeon and Levi, brothers-in-arm who got offended that their sister was raped and took revenge on a whole city (Gen 34). Hear their fathers’ blessing (verdict seems more apt) on them “Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall. Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel” (Gen 49:5-7). For that singular act, their generations were scattered abroad and the scepter of authority was given to their younger brother. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools (Eccl 7:9).

Third and perhaps most importantly, taking offence denies you an opportunity to deepen your love walk and thereby grow spiritually. Forgiveness, making allowance for each other’s faults cannot be practiced in isolation (all by yourself). It is through occasions of offences that God perfects your love walk and you become mature. “You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way” James 1:3-4 (MSG).

“But I don’t have a choice than to be offended, what happened was really bad” you say. While it is true that the act was despicable, your reaction to it is indeed your choice. You can choose to forgive on the spot, or to call the attention of the offender, or react angrily or to hold grudges. The choices are yours and only yours to make. Don’t give control of your life to any other human being. The fact that someone can get you to react in anger regardless of the situation is proof that you are not in control. Your life as a Christian is to react with love every time. You rely on the strength of the Holy Spirit within you to still love despite the hurt. Yes, you might make this decision with tears in your eyes, but you do it knowing you are following Christ.

Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]. Col 3:12-14 (AMP)

In conclusion, you should be willing and ready to forgive as many times as possible as long as the offender truly repents of the deed. The lord Jesus said “Pay attention and always be on your guard [looking out for one another]. If your brother sins (misses the mark), solemnly tell him so and reprove him, and if he repents (feels sorry for having sinned), forgive him. And even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and turns to you seven times and says, I repent [I am sorry], you must forgive him (give up resentment and consider the offense as recalled and annulled).” Luke 17:3-4.  While offences are perpetually thrown at you, don’t take it.

 If you have not made Jesus Christ your Lord and saviour, then life here is anchorless and eternity is bleak. We urge you, don’t wait another moment. Make up your mind and say this prayer:

“Dear God, I ask you to forgive me all my sins and make me anew. I believe that Jesus died for me and you raised him up on the third day, I confess that He is Lord now and forever. I accept your son, Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.”

Congratulations! Now that you are born again, look for a Bible believing church to attend that you might know what he has provided for you.