There are things that should be done before meeting "The One". 3 of those things are:
Prayer - start praying for your future partner especially when you are not ready to enter a relationship, you are sowing seeds to your future.
Secondly, have friends of opposite sex with all purity, it helps you to understand the differences in the genders.
Finally, read relationship books and ask questions from those in godly marriages, don't make your relationship a trial and error endeavour.
Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.[1 Timothy 5:2]
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.[Phillipians 4:6]
Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.[Proverbs 11:14]
Relationship - Dating, a no no
'We are just dating' is a popular statement, it supposes that they are checking each other out without any firm commitments to the future. After years of dating, both parties often move on disappointed. Why live your life as a specimen?
As a Christian, you go into relationship with marriage in view. Does it always work out? No, but the start matters a lot. A good wife is given by the Lord not by trial. If she is not good enough to be your wife then why ask her out in the first place?
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.[Proverbs 19:14]
But be sure that everything is done properly and in order.[1corinthians 14:40]
Relationship - Entering a godly relationship
While physical attributes are good, they are not sufficient for a lasting relationship. A solid relationship with God should be the foundation with godly characters. The fruits of the Spirit must be evidently seen.
Now, the perfect husband/wife is already married, so it is not about perfection but maturing. She/he must have a pastor and be actively serving God.
Finally and most importantly, there must be a deep conviction that he/she is the one. God will speak to you if you ask him.
The conviction will not eliminate challenges in the relationship, as all successful relationships have their own challenges; it will be your anchor during the turbulent times.
And the conviction should be confirmed by your pastor/mentor. Your pastors also have the Spirit of God.
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-GOD.[Proverbs 31:30]
House and land are handed down from parents, but a congenial spouse comes straight from GOD.[Proverbs 19:14]
Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.[Proverbs 3:9]
Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.[Proverbs 3:6]
Relationship - Be friends
Either before entering the relationship or in the relationship, it is important to develop friendship. Acting as 2 people who were forced into the relationship (because God said so) will be detrimental.
The period of courtship or relationship should be especially used to deepen the friendship. Common interests, likes and dislikes should be discovered and developed. Tease, excite and inspire each other.
Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren't going to the same place? [Amos 3:3]
Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.[Proverbs 18:24]
Relationship - sexual purity
Sex was designed for marriage, 'a man leaves his parents and is joined to his wife and they both become one flesh'. Becoming one flesh only comes after leaving and joining (marriage).
Sex is not a proof of love or compatibility, that's a lie. Neither is 'engaged to be married' equal to married. Regardless of the prevailing culture and pressures, God will keep you if you choose to obey and follow him. Flee sexual immorality.
Honor the sanctity of marriage and keep your vows of purity to one another, for God will judge sexual immorality in any form, whether single or married.[Hebrews 13:4]
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.[Genesis 2:24]
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.[1 Corinthians 6:18]
Relationship - Oversight
Submit your relationship to the oversight of your pastors or mentors. It helps to keep you on track.
It also gives you the benefit of a third ear on thorny issues that might arise during the relationship.
In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."[1Peter 5:5]
Honor and look up to people like that: companions and workers who show us how to do it, giving us something to aspire to.
Relationship - Have a plan
Most miss it in relationships because there was never a plan for success in the first place. What plan are you following, what standards have you set for yourselves?
Design a plan for your relationship such that every meeting is purposeful and impactful. Prayer time, books to read, stuffs to learn together, people (places) to visit etc. Above all, reduce the times you spend together alone in a room planless, why tempt yourself?
"Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn't first sit down and figure the cost so you'll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you're going to look pretty foolish.[Luke 14:28-29]
Everyone passing by will poke fun at you and Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem: Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe--and you're ready.[Solomon 2:7]
Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind
